Off to a bad start

This morning I got up showered shaved got ready for my day. I open the top door and let Heathcliff out and then went down stairs to do my daily ritual for the pets. Feed the howler(Binx) take Big Bitch outside and feed her and put her in her dog run. I fed the howler then I grabbed the dogs food and put on my shoes and coat and proceeded to go outside. We have had freezing rain and the snow on the roof has been melting so there was a 4 foot patch of Ice just outside the door so could not get the door open all the way. I open the door and Big Bitch barrels out the door and heads to her kennel, just as I am squeezing through the door I hear a screech /howl , all I could think of was Heathcliff by the time I got to Big Bitch's Kennel It was to late I could not undue the damage. A small kitten probably 5 months old had gone into Big Bitch's kennel to eat and drink . I stopped Big Bitch but it was too late the poor kitten was mangled I grabbed the dog and put her back in the house then went back to see if i could save the kitten. I grabbed gloves as did not know if it was a wild or tame cat but it was laying there helpless , I think its back was broken. I went and grabbed a box and put the kitten in the box and took it into the house I called for Vinnie as I could not put the poor kitten out of it's misery. He came and provide support but could not do anything either, not that I thought that he would but I was in a bit of shock I think . The kitten took its last breaths and died on our counter in the box I had layed it in.

It was so difficult not to lose it on the dog but I know she is following her instincts. I proceeded to go to work but actually broke down and cried in the car then balled all the way to work. Just another confirmation to me that there is no higher being watching out for us as this was horrible actually disgusting. I awoke this morning thinking about it again and I am sure I will awake many more times with this horrifying remembrance.